


five times Cana says I love you (and one time Juvia does)

by scribblers



Series: she looks so perfect [2]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Alternate Universe - After College/University, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, College AU, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-03-08
Packaged: 2018-03-17 00:10:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3507836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scribblers/pseuds/scribblers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in which Juvia is terrified to say I love you and Cana loves her anyways</p>
            </blockquote>





	five times Cana says I love you (and one time Juvia does)

**I**

The first time Cana ever says it, Juvia is pretty sure it’s an accident. They’re sitting in Juvia’s new car (a gift from Jose, so Juvia is sure that he doesn’t know yet) just outside Heartfilia Manor. It’s 3 a.m. and they were just at a party that Lucy threw to celebrate them all getting accepted into Hargeon. They’re both high on night air and drunk on each other, and Cana’s a bit drunk on alcohol too, which is part of why Juvia thinks it’s an accident. They’re making plans for convincing Gildarts to let Cana live at school so that they can be roommates, except they’re not making serious plans, they’re thinking of crazy schemes like sneaking Cana out in a suitcase and they’re laughing and sometimes they’re kissing and then suddenly Cana murmurs, “I love you.” It’s low and rough and raw sounding, like the words crawled out of her throat without the brunette’s consent.

“What?” Juvia asks, because she isn’t sure she heard right.

“I love you.” Cana repeats, and this time it’s firmer and stronger.

“Cana, Juvia thinks that you’re drunk.” Juvia says, not because she doesn’t wish it were true, but more because she’s scared that it is.

“So what?” Cana asked angrily, “Does drunk Cana love you more or less than sober Cana?”

“Juvia is the only one allowed to speak in the third person.” Juvia says, smiling nervously at her girlfriend. Cana gives her a Look™ but lets her avoid the subject.

“Has drunk Cana stolen part of your identity Vi?” Juvia laughs in relief.

**II**

The second time Cana says it, it’s the day they get their mid-term exams back. They had both been sure that they’d fail, and they’d both passed with pretty good marks. They were celebrating with beer and kisses in their dorm room, lounging on Cana’s bed and occasionally just laughing out of nowhere, they were both so happy.

“I love you,” Cana whispers against Juvia’s lips. Juvia doesn’t hear it at first, but Cana keeps repeating it between kisses.

“I love you, I love you, I love you.” Juvia knows that Cana isn’t really drunk, she knows Cana’s drunk voice a little too well. But she can’t bring herself to say it back. It feels too soon and too scary, so she settles for putting her beer on the floor and wrapping both arms around her girlfriend’s neck and kissing her until Juvia’s more drunk on Cana then she is on the alcohol.

**III**

Their first time is right after finals. They both passed again, and they’re both so excited and happy, and then it’s their one year anniversary and they’re celebrating much like how they celebrated mid-terms and then they have sex.

They’re lying in Juvia’s bed together after and kind of just cuddling and Cana murmurs, “I love you.” Juvia shouldn’t be surprised, especially since they’re lying in bed together, especially after what they just did. But she is. And she’s still scared. Because she remembers the last time she said I love you, to Gray in sophomore year of high school, and his abject refusal, his confusion and how weirded out he was. And she supposes that maybe telling a sixteen year old boy that she loved him when they weren’t even very good friends wasn’t the best of ideas, but he was still harsh and he still shattered her hopes and broke her heart. That’s why it had taken her so long to ask Cana out at first and that’s why she was still scared of saying I love you to anyone, even though she knew that Cana wouldn’t break her heart, even though Cana had already said that she loved her.

So Juvia lays her head down on Cana’s shoulder and tries to reassure the brunette without speaking, without committing to the words, without risking putting her love out there.

**IV**

The summer after their second year of college, Gildarts loses his job. Cana has to drop out of college because it was just too much money. So Juvia moves in with Meredy, whose roommate Ultear had graduated the year before, and Cana moves back home. They’re sitting in Cana’s room when the brunette breaks down. She cries and Juvia sits on the bed with her girlfriend in her arms, trying not to cry at seeing how completely and totally devastated Cana is.

“I wanted to… to finish. I wanted to get a degree. I wanted to graduate with you.” Cana sobs. Juvia sees Gildarts standing in the doorway, looking guilty and sad and like Cana’s words were absolutely destroying him.

“It’s okay Cana. It’ll be okay.” Juvia whispers, hugging her tighter and running her fingertips through the other girl’s shoulder-length hair. They had both gone and gotten the same haircut a few weeks ago, on the weekend after their anniversary.

“I wanted to… to have all these amazing experiences in college with you.” She sobs, and Juvia can see Gildarts slumping against the doorframe.

“It’s okay. We can have amazing experiences out of college too. Juvia isn’t just not going to be with Cana anymore because they’re not living together or aren’t at school together.” Juvia tells Cana. The brunette nods but she keeps crying anyways, so Juvia just holds her and murmurs soothing words.

“I love you. I love you so much.” Cana whispers through the sobs. This would be the perfect time for Juvia to say it back, right? She probably needs reassurance of love and support, right? So why can’t Juvia get the words out? Why can’t she just say I love you to the girl that she so obviously loves?

**V**

In the summer after Juvia’s third year, she and Cana move into an apartment together. Jose helps pay for it (Juvia describes Cana as a close friend so he’s okay with it) and Cana has a j0b and Juvia gets one. Gildarts has to sell their home because the job he got paid quite a bit less than the job he’d had before and he bought a small apartment for himself.

Jose comes to their apartment one day near the end of Juvia’s last year in college when the aforementioned blunette is at work. Cana is there though, and when Juvia comes back Cana is sitting on the floor in their room, looking shell-shocked.

“He didn’t know?” Cana asks when Juvia walks into the room. Juvia immediately knows what she means, but she pretends not to because maybe it’s not true.

“Who didn’t know what?” Juvia asks, sitting down on the bed.

“Jose didn’t know about us?” Cana asks, looking up at Juvia in confusion.

“Oh.” Juvia whispers. Never in her life has she felt her world crumbling around her as much as the moment Cana said Jose’s name. Her whole body slumps and she feels the hope drain out of her.

Jose is homophobic. He is possibly the most homophobic man Juvia’s ever encountered, and living in his home and accepting his gifts and pretending to love him was the hardest thing she’d ever done. Partly because at first, she had felt like she was betraying him by having a crush on a girl. Partly because she did kind of love him.

“I’m sorry,” Juvia murmurs. And she is. She should’ve known that Jose would find out eventually, she should’ve told him and dealt with it herself instead of hiding. And then Cana had to deal with his anger instead of her and Juvia just felt _so guilty_.

“I’m sorry Cana-chan.” She says again, starting to cry.

“Hey hey hey, Juvi. What’s with the honourific? You haven’t called me chan since we graduated high school.” Cana asked, getting up and going to sit next to Juvia on their bed.

“I figured you wouldn’t want to stay with Juvia anymore after meeting her father.” Juvia said quietly between sobs.

“Oh my god, you’re not serious. After everything we’ve been through together, you think I’d abandon you because a man you’re not even really related to thinks that gay people shouldn’t exist? Sheesh Vi, I thought you’d have a bit more faith in me than that.” Cana said, wrapping her arms around Juvia and tucking the blunette’s head under her chin. And she let Juvia break down.

“I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry.” She cried, hugging Cana tightly.

“It’s okay Juvi. It’s okay. I still love you. I’ll always love you.” Cana murmurs, and there it is again. The chance to say it back. But maybe the fact that her homophobic father is the reason she’s sobbing into her girlfriend’s neck makes her even more scared to say it. And Cana understands. So she holds Juvia and whispers sweet nothings to her and it made Juvia realize just how ridiculous this fear of hers was. Cana has been with her through the good and the bad and it was silly to think that she’d reject Juvia after almost four years. So she’ll say it. She’ll say I love you.

**0**

Jose stops paying for the apartment and would’ve stopped paying for college if she wasn’t about to graduate. That summer Gajeel and Levy help her move the rest of her stuff out of Jose’s house since Jose won’t let Cana or Juvia into his house. And when Gajeel and Levy get to Cana and Juvia’s apartment complex, Gajeel proposes. Levy isn’t surprised because Gajeel had asked her if she was ready to get engaged at this point in her life but she still cries and Juvia does a little bit as well.

Gajeel ( _Gajeel_ , she could barely believe that _Gajeel_ , her little brother, was _going to get married_ ) getting engaged makes Juvia think about her and Cana’s future together. And the fact that she still hasn’t told Cana that she loves her.

Juvia has a job as a teacher at the local elementary school this year. Cana’s still working as a barista at a local coffee shop. She’s still not really sure what she wants to do (“besides you Juvi,” she adds every time the topic comes up) besides that, and she doesn’t really think it’s a big deal at this point in time.

Juvia is triple-checking that she has everything she needs for the first day when Cana walks into the kitchen. She kisses Juvia, tells her that she’s worried about nothing and is going to do great with the fourth graders, and then makes a beeline for the coffee maker. A cup of coffee is already waiting for her there.

“You’re the best Juju.” Cana sighs, taking the cup, drinking a bit, and then going to hug Juvia. It’s such a domestic scene, Juvia getting ready for work and Cana drinking coffee that the blunette had made for her, and Juvia smiles and feels like she might burst from the warmth building in her chest.

As she’s about to leave, she takes a deep breath, and manages to call out, “Love you!”

Cana’s face breaks into the widest, brightest, most gorgeous smile Juvia has ever seen and the brunette rushes over to give her a hug and a kiss.

“Love you too Juvi.”

As Juvia walks out to her car, she feels the lightest and happiest that she thinks she’s ever felt.

**Author's Note:**

> [my tumblr ](aquillandparchment.tumblr.com)
> 
> [my fanfiction.net ](fanfiction.net/u/4688461/)


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